Weight of Us
by einfach mich
Summary: My world hangs from a three-pointed star fixed in a night sky filled with perfectly balanced points of light. AU Edward/Leah/Jake. WARNING: This story was crafted to destroy your soul, read at your own peril. NOT WUSPERV SAFE!


**Author's note:**

**Dahlia J Black purchased this story as part of the Fandom Gives Back auction. **

**Dearest E,**

**This is not what you asked for, but I hope you trust me enough to know that I will give you what you need. I love you, baby.**

* * *

"Are you done yet? I'm getting all pruney here," I grouse at Edward, gently splashing water at him as he holds the heel of my foot in his hand.

He finished shaving my legs ten minutes ago, but he's dragging it out, like he does with everything. He's slowly rinsing my legs, scooping up water in his hand to pour over them.

Bright droplets spray across his pale skin, and he doesn't even flinch as they splatter across his face. His eyes rise from mine, just as water cascades over my face.

"HEY!" I jerk and nearly sink under the surface.

Strong hands grab hold of my shoulders and drags me upright. I pull free of them, and stand up, as laughter fills the room.

"Sorry, Baby. Turn about is fair play," Jacob chuckles as he shrugs, the offending water cup he'd been using to rinse my hair still in his hand. "You started it by splashing, Ed."

"You're supposed to be on my side," I bark, slapping the water in his direction, and take a small bit of satisfaction in seeing him jump backward.

"Gah!" He makes a strangled cry as he slips on the wet floor and flails like a chicken.

Edward catches him just before he does a face-plant on the floor.

"Leah, my love, you are well aware that Jacob and I are allied with you, not against you," Edward tries to soothe me with his seductively old fashion speaking, but it's not working. I'm cold, wet and the mood is fucking shot. I step out of the tub and stomp into the bedroom.

"Leah," Jacob calls after me, but I ignore him.

This was supposed to be a nice relaxing night for just the three of us, no drama, no talking, and none of those mournful looks that Edward's giving me right now.

_You know that it's the last thing I need to see right now._

He flinches at my thought, but quickly shifts his features to a neutral state as Jacob emerges from the bathroom with another towel. I don't fight him as he moves to stand behind me and starts to dry my hair. He's doing a better job of staying silent than Edward, which is just the opposite of normal.

"I'm sorry," I sigh, slumping my shoulders, and feel Jacob's warm lips press against the side of my neck.

"It's my fault," he whispers, rubbing his face along skin, making me close my eyes. "You know I have issues with impulse control when you're naked."

_Like I'm a shinning example of self control._

"You know that you are," Edward's voice startles me it's so close, his candied breath washing over my face right before he covers my mouth.

_I've always loved the way that you argue with me, even when you're apologizing._

Jacob's mouth is working on my shoulder, kissing and biting across my damp skin. His strong hands are pulling my hips back against his body, and making me gasp in Edward's mouth.

_There's no way to misinterpret that._

Edward's soft laughter sends light puffs of sugary air into my mouth, and I pull free to cough out my own laugh.

"You two are ruining the moment again," Jacob growls around my earlobe, as he slides his hands to cup my breasts in his warm palms.

_Shit!_

"I can still hear you," Edward scolds me even as he presses his naked ice cold chest against my nipples, and starts to kiss me again.

_No swearing is your rule, not mine!_

"Why are we not on the bed?" Jacob asks, his teeth tattooing a line down the center of my back.

"Astute observation," Edward mumbles, pulling back from my mouth.

"Fuck!" I snap, grabbing at the front of his pants, only to have him laugh as he slaps my hands away.

"You will be rewarded for your bad behavior," he says with a smirk, backing away as Jacob's arms turn to iron around my waist.

_Fucking cocksucker whore bitch shit..._

I continue my mental rampage, as Jacob pulls me backward toward the bed, and Edward disappears from our bedroom.

"I can't believe that you always take his side," I grumble as Jacob turns me in his arms, and laughs.

"We both love you, Lee," he whispers his warm breath spreading over my mouth before he kisses me.

Heat fills me, as he presses along the line of my body, and his mouth devours mine. Teeth, tongues and low growls are how we kiss. They both leave me hungry and worked up whenever they touch me. Jacob says that it's the effect of the imprinting. It has to be the only thing that makes any kind of sense about us.

"I love you," Jacob says, smiling against my mouth, and even after all these years my heart beats a little faster.

"I love you too," I mumble, and lean down to press my stinging eyes to his shoulder.

"Lee, don't be sad," he sounds so young when he tries to comfort me, and I lift up my head to look in his eyes.

"I'm not, I promise," my voice breaks a little, as I smile at him, and feel tears trickle down my cheeks.

"Liar, liar" he retorts, pulling me into his warm strong embrace. "Pants on fire."

I laugh breathlessly as I rest my chin on his shoulder and realize that Edward's returned. He's leaning in the doorway, watching us with a smile on his face. He's the other part of the equation that makes no sense. Falling in love with Jacob Black was one thing, but a vampire tossed in the mix is a whole new level of bizarre.

I've known Jacob since we were children. I remember when he got drunk for the first time at a beach party and threw up on his sleeping bag. Jacob was the sweet kid who was always making people smile, and was there with your homework if you were home sick from school. He was Billy's son, Seth's friend, but nothing more to me, until that afternoon when our lives changed forever.

_I had been feeling sick, feverish all day, and when Sam tried to check on me, I lost it. He pleaded with me to talk to him so he could explain, but instead I just ran. I've always been fast, but on that day I seemed even faster than normal. I kept running, even after I was sure that I lost Sam. I wanted to run until I reached the ocean, but instead I found a house. _

_It looked out of place in the forest, sharp angles, glass and metal. Rising up from the soft grass-covered ground like a ice berg. There was a boy sitting on the hood of silver car. He stood when he saw me, and began to walk toward me. I couldn't see clearly, the fever had made my eyes dry and it was hard to focus._

"_Are you lost?" His voice was one of the most beautiful things I'd ever heard._

_My throat was like brittle paper, so I nodded and began to sway. He caught me, and it felt like I was being hugged by a glacier._

"_Leah!" Jacob's voice broke through my haze, and I tried to stand on my own._

_I could hear a strange rumbling, but I was too dizzy to really understand it until the strange boy's arms tightened around me. He was growling._

"_Let her go!" Jacob's voice was suddenly right in front of me, I tried to raise my head, but I was so tired._

"_You are on my land, and she is in distress," the strange boy's breath was tickling my neck. _

_It felt so cool and soothing; I moaned softly and turned toward it._

"_I said, let her GO!" Jacob yelled, and I felt something jar me loose._

_I went tumbling to the ground as a wave of pain hit me in the center of my body, and I screamed. I closed my eyes, trying to make sense of what was happening. I could hear them screaming at each other, but my mind was not working right. I was about to call out for them to help me when another wave hit me and I felt my body explode._

_I was standing, but my body was connected to the earth by four separate hands, no…paws. I blinked my new eyes and saw two figures staring at me: one pale, one dark. Both watch me with wide eyes. The world seemed to stop, and everything fell away. I felt weightless, and the only thing that I have to hold onto are two sets of eyes, one amber and one brown. I didn't understand it, and I was terrified by that. So I ran._

_I ran across the country. I tried to lose myself in the outside world, because I couldn't accept this accident of fate. I couldn't make sense of it. Why would fate tear out of my heart by taking Sam away from me, and then tear apart my body – only to give me this?_

_I couldn't hide forever, and eventually they found me working in a little diner in Pennsylvania. I stood in my stupid pink uniform dress in the fucking rain while Edward and Jacob stared at me like a couple of lost puppies._

"_This is wrong! Just like everything else about my life!" I cried, shaking my soaking wet hair. _

"_Be that as it may, we are still here," Edward spoke louder over the rumbling thunder, and I looked at him through drooping eyelashes._It was the first time that I had really looked at him _in a year; since the afternoon we met for the first time. _

"_This is never going to work," I argued._

"_We'll make it work," Jacob insisted, stepping up beside Edward._

"_To live apart is not an option, Leah," Edward said, reaching out to take hold of my arm. "We've spent twelve long months learning that." _

_I gasp at how good his skin feels on mine, and I let him pull me into his arms. He sighs, like it feels just as good to him to hold me. I close my eyes against the overwhelming waves of contentment that I feel in his embrace._

"_Let us stop wasting time," Edward pressed his lips to my temple, as I trembled in his arms._

"_Be with us Leah, please," Jacob pressed against my back, and I felt myself relent._

My world hangs from a three-pointed star fixed in a night sky filled with perfectly balanced points of light. This love is unlike anything that I could have planned, so strange, and new that it scares me.

Edward moves into the room and it feels like the last piece falling into place. I always feel better when we're all together. I feel centered, grounded and..._Happy_.

"You deserve this," Edward says, running his hand along my tear-stained cheek.

_The same thing could be said about you._

"We all do," Jacob speaks into my hair, and I let myself enjoy the moment.

They feel it too. I can sense it in the contentment on Edward's face, and relaxed posture of Jacob's body. This is my family, and I want to keep it that way.

"Uh, Ed," Jacob breaks the comfortable silence. "Do you mind pointing that thing away from my ass. I love you, but I'm NOT going all the way with you, tonight."

We all erupt into fits of laughter, breaking apart but staying close. I sit down on the edge of the bed, and Jacob sits beside me, his arm around my shoulder. Edwards stands in front of us, a glass jar in his hand.

"What's that?" I point at the jar, and try to read the label that Edward's fingers are obscuring.

"A surprise," Jacob says, as something slides over my face.

"What the fuck?" I yelp as he ties the blindfold tight, and shifts his weight over top of me.

"Blindfolded or not, I can still kick your ass Jacob Black," I growl, feeling a strong hand take hold of my ankle.

I stop my thrashing, as tiny shivers travel up my legs. Everywhere that Edward touches me feels like my skin is having a miniature orgasm.

_How do you do that?_

I moan despite myself, and press up into Jacob's body, feeling his body answering me in kind.

"Hurry up, Ed, or I'm going to get started with out you," Jacob stutters, pressing his lower body against mine at just the right angle to make me gasp.

"I will need to trade places with you," Edward says close to my face, and I turn to snap my teeth at him.

_Can't wait to get on top of me, eh?_

"Damn cold vampire skin," Jacob grumbles, but gives me a quick nip on the chin before he shifts off of me.

_Yes!_

I start to sit up and feel something press be back down into the mattress.

"No," Edward's voice rings in my ear, his weight replaces Jacob's to pin me down.

_You love this, don't you? Perv._

Edward's laughter is like the soft chiming of a thousand bells ringing on a clear Spring day. He sounds so happy, that I wish I could see his face. For the most part he seems happy most of the time, but I catch him at unguarded moments, looking concerned, and contemplative. It doesn't take a fucking rocket scientist to guess what causes his mind to spin its wheels.

He is a vampire, untouched by time, but Jacob and I are mortal. We can shift and fight time for decades, maybe centuries if we're lucky, but eventually time will win. It always does. Jacob and I will die, leaving Edward alone. _Again._

"_How do you expect this to end?" Carlisle asked in a hush, believing that I won't hear them, but Edward knows better._

"_I suppose it will end as it should," he speaks slowly, his voice low and calm._

"_Edward, son, they will not live forever. No matter how hard you try," Carlisle pleads._

"_What do you want me to say?" Edward whisper is sharp._

"_I want to keep my son safe," Carlisle sighs._

"_That's not possible, not any longer." Edward's voice is filled with determination. "Where they go, I go. Till the end."_

I don't know how he plans to do it. When I asked Alice she just shook her head and refused to talk about it. She insisted that she saw nothing but happiness for us, but I know that it's a lie. Alice can't see Jacob or me, and that means she no longer sees Edward.

When she doesn't know I'm watching, I see how much that scares her, and how she resents us for it.

"I wouldn't change it for the world," Edward whispers against my lips, and I moan.

I won't let him die, not if I can help it. Edward needs a reason to stay alive. He needs a family of his own, and we are giving him that.

It's been exactly one year since I last shifted, and while I still seem to have some of my heightened senses my body has returned to normal. Soon, we will have a family, and Edward will have a reason to keep going.

"Leah, my love," Edward's voice betrays how much this means to him. "I am just happy here now with you both."

"Count me in on that," Jacob says, as something warm drips onto my skin.

"What is that?" I can't stop the giggle leaves my mouth, the warmth slowly slides over the skin of my calves leaving a tickling itch in its wake.

"I will tell you only if you promise to stay still," Edward says, close to my ear, making me shiver as I nod.

"I promise," I whisper.

_Manipulator._

Edward laughs as he lifts off of my body, but says nothing. I'm about to argue that he's not keeping his part of the bargain when something presses against my lips. I force myself to relax as his fingers slide into my mouth. His skin tastes sweeter than normal. Rich, floral, like lavender and the barest hint of pine trees.

_Honey. You're pouring honey on my legs._

I moan and writhe, lifting my hips off the bed.

"Hey, it's hard to hit a moving target," Jacob says, gently slapping my thigh, making me bite my lip at the delicious sting.

"Be still, love," Edward's voice is gentle as he presses his hand over my pelvis, and I force myself to hold still.

Jacob makes low hungry sounds as the warm liquid continues to spread over my skin, and Edward's hand still holds me down. When I think I will scream, and my breath is coming in quick pants, I finally feel them touch me.

A hot wet tongue slides along the side of my calf, leaving a cool moist trail in it's wake. My skin tingles everywhere he tastes. I feel a cold finger glide over the skin of my inner thigh, and the tongue catches the trail. I tense as I feel hot breath graze over my clit and then disappear.

_Bastards!_

I scream in my head, because my mouth is too busy panting for breath. Jacob starts again at my ankle, dragging his tongue up my leg, and then catching the path that Edward draws with his finger leading toward my sore, throbbing clit.

_I am going to go insane. Please stop torturing me._

"That is half the fun," Edward replies, plunging his finger inside of me without warning.

_So cold!_

I gasp, shaking with the start of my climax just as Jacob's tongue joins Edward's fingers in an elaborate dance over my tender wet skin. Cold fingers pinch my clit and I explode with a wailing scream, wave after wave of pleasure slamming me into the mattress. The sound of Jacob's growling fills my ears, even as it vibrates through my clit.

_Need you NOW!_

I rise up grabbing fists full of Edward's hair, pulling him down into my mouth, even as Jacob continues to kiss and lick me. Another tingling begins at the base of my spin, but I want them inside me.

"There's no need to rush," Edward laughs, pulling free of my mouth, but I growl.

"I don't know, I kind of like it when she rushes," Jacob chuckles, as he starts to work me with his fingers.

_Oh yes, don't stop!_

"She is close, again," Edward moans, his breath washing over my mouth, before he kisses me hungrily.

I scream into his mouth as another climax explodes through me, and Jacob sinks his teeth into my hip, making me buck hard.

_Want you inside me NOW!_

"I think under the circumstances Jacob would go first," Edward tries to use logic at the most inappropriate times.

"Get on your back!" I shout, and gently push Jacob off my body, only to drag him to my mouth.

The kiss is even more savage than usual; I love the mixture of his mouth and my own taste. I bite his lip and scratch at his shoulders, enjoying the way he growls in response. When I finally break the kiss we're both panting, and he's giving me the adorably dopey smile.

"Leah, I still think-" Edward starts to argue again, and I turn to push him back down on the mattress.

"It's my birthday," I hiss, flipping him onto his back and swinging my leg over him.

"Can't argue with that," Jacob chuckles, flopping down on the bed next to Edward.

"I should know by now that it's useless to resist," Edward relents, sliding his cool hands up my naked, sticky thighs, and I shiver.

_You should know by know that, with me, you're never going to win._

I move over him, letting his tip trace over me before finally sinking down in one swift downward thrust.

_Just having your inside me gets me half way there._

"I've already won, my love," Edward answers my thought as he moves up against me, and I ride the waves of pleasure.

* * *

"I recall having this discussion with you on more than one occasion," I sigh, trying to clearly communicate my disapproval with my tone of voice and facial expression.

"I didn't break the rules," she insists, shaking her head, her black hair swinging like a shower of ebony rain.

She is impossibly beautiful, even in her defiance. I suppress the urge to smile, and fix her with a look of unwavering determination.

"You most assuredly did," I stare down into her dark brown eyes, and try to be firm, but without sounding too harsh. "We are going back to the house, right now."

"Dad! No!" Sue cries, kicking the ground with the tiny brightly colored tennis shoes that her grandmother bought her on our last visit to the states.

I notice the heels are scuffed, and make a note to clean them when we arrive back at the hotel for her punishment, which will likely consist of her doing the homework that she'd claimed to have completed last night.

This situation is so familiar, it should be bothersome, but I am always oddly charmed by her defiance. She is so much like her mother and in the ten years since Leah's passing the pain and loss has eased to a ache of sadness.

_My love, I wish you could see how beautiful your children are._

"I win, I win!" William runs up to me, and launches himself into my arms. "I made it first!"

I catch him without taking my attention off his sister, just as Jacob jogs up into view. He comes to a clumsy stop in front of us, hunching over as he makes a great show of huffing and wheezing. He likes to let William think that he's the fastest one in the family.

"I beat him dad!" William shouts at me, his pale complexion is flushed from the exertion, and I'm concerned that too much exercise may trigger his asthma.

"Calm down," I tell him, setting him down on his feet, and try to comb his unruly jet black hair into place with my fingers.

His bright green eyes are wide as he gulps in air, and grins at me in triumph.

"Daddy!" Sue yells, running into Jacob's arms, and I can see him already melt under the weight of her tears. "It's not fair."

"It's okay, babygirl," Jacob whispers to her as he pulls her into his arms.

_What happened?_

"She lied," I inform him with a stern look, and get his frown in return. "Therefore she is not allowed to go shopping."

_She didn't do her homework._

"I promised Auntie Alice I would go!" Sue wails in Jacob's arms, and give him a meaningful look, hoping that he will support me.

_Is it really that important, Ed?_

"You can't go," William chants in a sing song tone, and hops towards his sister.

"Shut up, you asswipe!" Sue screamed at her brother, and charges toward him in a rage.

"Susan Esme Clearwater Black," I employ the sternest voice I can, while I pull William out of the reach of his sister.

_Crap, I think she got that one from me._

Jacob's mind takes on a sheepish tone, but I shrug off the guilty look in his eyes. Emmett is just as guilt of using crude language in front of the children.

"He was teasing me!" she continues to rail, and Jacob picks her up.

_I'll take her back to the hotel._

"Suzzie-Q, you and I are going to go home," Jacob says her nickname, and illicits a brief smile from her, before her whole face falls.

"NO!" She cries, as Jacobs sets her down and takes her small hand in his own.

_I can't handle this, Ed. Give me a Volturi to tear apart, anything but this._

"Yes," He says, sounding strong and sure. "We are going to do your homework, and then we will meet back up with everyone."

"You're doing great," I whisper softly to him, knowing the children cannot hear me.

_Yeah, right. Thanks…Billy!_

I immediately turn to my son, who is wheezing, and I have his back-up inhaler out of my pocket in seconds. He looks pale as I place it to his lips, but he takes over the device and operates it with ease. I can hear the panic in his mind calm as he takes his first breath of the medicine. It will take a few more minutes before his constricted airways will open, but just having the small plastic device soothes him.

"Way to go, little man," Jacob's says, his hands gently brushing through William's messy hair.

Despite his instance that he lacks maturity, Jacob has grown so much over the years. He is a wonderful father, and the best companion in parenthood that I could ever ask for. I only wish she could be here with us.

_I know, I miss her too._

I stand and meet Jacob's sympathetic gaze. Only he understands the emptiness that I feel at her loss. Only he could.

"_You have to let me try!" I plead with her, and even in this she denies me._

"_No," her voice is barely a whisper, and I can hear the slow descending beat of her dying heart._

"_I can't lose you," I cry, pressing my mouth to her temple, wishing she would listen to reason._

"_Jacob," she coughs his name, and he's there with his arms around my waist pulling me back. _

_We had this argument before she went into labor, when her body was already terribly weak from the accelerated pregnancy. She told me that changing her wasn't an option, that there was no guarantee that she was fully human or that my venom wouldn't poison her. _

"_I would rather die, than risk you thinking that you killed me," she told me and made me promise not to try. Jacob made a similar oath, and he is the stronger one, holding me back as our love slowly slipped away from us, even as the sounds of our new born children fill the air around us._

William and Susan are our little miracles, human children from supernatural creatures, two impossible truths that stand before me as I smile at Jacob. My son, and his daughter, the likenesses are undeniable, and yet when I look at both of them, their differences fall away, and all I can see is their mother's face.

"We are blessed, my brother," I whisper, as Jacob pulls me into a hug.

_Yes, we are._

* * *

The dull thud of a wood hitting the floor jars me, and I open my eyes. The bright morning light streaming through the small windows stings my eyes. I take a few minutes to look around the familiar room. This is Clearwater house, I realize as I see a framed photo of Sue and Harry hanging over the little wood stove. As I look at the small tile square beneath the iron legs of the stove I see black hair splayed across the floor.

_Leah!_

I kneel down beside her unconscious form, fresh tears on my face. She looks as beautiful as ever. It's as if the ten years that we've spent without her are just a bad dream. She's breathing, though her eyes are closed. I don't understand, but I don't care.

"She's alive?" Edward's voice is thick with emotions, and I look up at him.

_Yes, I don't know how…but YES!_

His face is a symphony of emotions all of which I'm feeling as well. His hand grips my shoulder and I grab his wrist to anchor myself. I touch her cheek with the back of my hand, and she jerks awake. Her eyes blink rapidly, and as she sees us, she smiles.

_She's so beautiful._

"My love," Edward whispers, and Leah's smile widens.

"What are you guys doing?" The sharp high tone of Seth's voice jolts me.

I look at the open doorway, and don't believe my eyes. Seth is young and slender, as he stares at us in confusion. Edward and I had just attended his wedding two years ago. He was thirty five, but this Seth is fifteen. It doesn't make any sense.

"NO!" Leah starts to cry, and I look back at her.

She's already on her feet running from the room, and I rise to follow, but Edward's iron hand is stopping me.

"It wasn't real," Edward's voice is flat as his cold hand slides from my shoulder.

_That's insane._

I stand to argue with him, but he already walking away, his face a cold mask.

"Where are you going?" I ask, feeling lost and cold.

"I should be getting back to Bella," he replies without turning around.

"Yeah, they sent me to get you," Seth says, as he follows Edward out the door. "The baby is shifting again and Carlisle thinks it's close to time."

_Bella. _Yes, Bella's my best friend, and Edward's wife. It starts to come back to me in an instant, but it only makes me feel worse. Bella's pregnant with a monster and Edward's being forced to let her have it. I know this and yet it seems like I'm in a strange world that doesn't fit my skin.

_It wasn't real._

I can still hear Edward's voice, as I try to make sense of it. Twenty years of my life are gone, in the blink of an eye. I can still remember the weight of my daughter in my arms. I still remember the smell of William's hair, and sound of the kids' laughter echoing through our house in Vancouver. I can still see Leah's face at our commitment ceremony, and how Edward's skin sparkled in the sunlight as we all held hands. It still feels real.

I kneel down, as the weight of the memories crash against me. My leg hits something and I blink past the tears to see something on the floor beside me. I pick up the mask, and wipe the tears away from my eyes with the back of my hand. Raven smiles at me, his long hooked nose jutting forward as his hollow eyes stare at me in malicious glee.

I know this mask. Harry used to tell us the stories about it. He told us about how Raven had tricked the sun into believing he was the moon. How Raven did all kinds of dirty tricks, and how my great, great grandfather turned the tables on him, trapping him in this mask.

_Ephraim's son Abraham ignored his father's warnings about the mask, and tried to use it to save our people from the ever invading white men. He wished for a terrible curse to fall upon them, and so it did. Many of the white men fell sick, but so did we. Abraham himself succumbed to sickness, and died. You cannot trust the Raven. He will give you what you ask for, but it will come at a price. There is always a price. _

I remember it now. Edward had told me about Leah's confrontation with Bella. She had stood up for me, but all I could think was that she had hurt Bella. He had followed me, as I tracked her back here. He kept telling me that she was only trying to be my friend that she cared for me, but I hadn't listened. I was too concerned about Bella. When we arrived Leah was holding the mask, and that was the last thing I remember.

_Leah, what did you do?_

It was a stupid question. What else would she wish for? What else would Leah want?

_Love and Happiness._

I smash the mask against the floor, and it shatters into hundred pieces, but it doesn't change anything. I can still feel the heartache, pain, and…love.

* * *

**Author's note2: **

**I know, I fibbed, but it was worth it, wasn't it? I love you baby. **

**I would like to thank Chele681 for being a iron clad hardass of a beta. This story wouldn't be here without her.**


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